Gone surfing - well I've gone to make OTT
sandcastles on the beach - so back to the important things - last nights home game - The 4kingpoker.com Series

Day 9 ... $ 00.00

Ended up with 5 - there were a couple of illnesses

Two of the boys are new to the game - Although after a couple of hours you wouldnt know it - After soft playing them for a while the gloves came off - Unfortunately Fatboys wheels come off at the same time - Crazy Legs "oh is it me" the new boy is getting all sorts of luck against Fatboys cards - He got AK crushed three times I can remember - and Crazy Legs just seemed to make hands out of nowhere - The joys of trying to read a beginner - Only this one is something of a serious gambler and it shows in his play - Fearless and Random.

Anyway I manage to adapt my game a bit - Fatboy manages to get proper tilted

When I make an ace high straight I give him the respect he deserves for a poss flush - Even if the others have no intention of respecting players / odds / probability of even common sense.

Bit of a soft play as it turns out as he was in with nothing and hoping to
get lucky.

results as follows

Crazy Legs + 67

Scrawnybob (me) + 66

The Professor + 8

The Echo - 60

Fatboy - 80

Anyway Im happy with my result - Its taken Fatboy down a peg or two which he needed as he had been cruising at the top of the leader board for a good few games. But these new boys could prove to be a bit of a challenge.

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Today I've made myself a bit of a pukka poker table.

Day 8 ... $ 00.00

• Freeroll $500 added ... 608th out of 2400 ... Freeroll

After 18 mins I'm down to $815 - then I get a really good hand - 4s 5s. Think I was on the blinds so I get to see the flop
2d 6h 4d - I'm on a straight draw very unadventurously check it - if its diamond Im out of it but 4th comes down 7c - make my straight but figure medium bet against someone staying in for the flush - bet $ 100 win $ 485 - takes me up to $ 1030 749th/1502 and the blinds are still only 25/50.

After 42mins I get QQ and get myself up to a marginally better $ 1610 505th/1011. I peak at $ 1760 before the wheels start to wobble playing a random 7 5 suited ????? duh. By 55 mins I've sunk to under $1000 and decide that my JJ looks worth an
all-in, I get called 3 ways - with all sorts of weak Ace and King combo's.

Flop comes up As 8s 4d Kh ... so there we are out again - 608th

Not really to fussed as I've got to get down to B&Q to get this table made for tonights game.

Well after a bit of jigsaw work and pulling and pushing the felt under the rail I've made myself a bit of a pukka poker table - IMHO it looks the dogs - Chances are the lads will just think I a sad f***er who takes it all too seriously - But at the end of the day if I'm going to play bad poker at least I'm going to do it at a good table.

Tech details - just about an 8 seater - 72in x 42in rounded 14in corners, blue felt, grey pipe insulation for rails - its the dogs

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The end is near I can smell it - which in itself as much as seals my fate.

Day 7 ... $ 11.15

• $ 8.00 NL 0.25 cash game ... $ 12 ... + $4.00

• $ 8.00 NL 0.25 cash game ... $ 16.40 ... + $8.40

Cool unadventurous but promising I'm making a bit of progress, not bankrupt just yet

• $ 8.00 NL 0.25 cash game ... $ 0 ... - $8.00

So it was just a bit of luck then

• Freeroll $500 added ... 852nd out of 2400 ... Freeroll

I'm too pre-occupied to concentrate and have any patience, well even more so than usual - the fact that I'm prob not going to have any cash left by the end of today isn't helping. Added to which I've got the lads coming round tomorrow night for our monthly game and Ive got a table top to sort out as our games have now grown to a 8+ players from our originally sporadic 3-5

so the freeroll in summary - I came, I folded, I played badly and I ended up blinded away and going all-in with 74 off. I got a highly deserved 852nd place - hard to believe there were another 1548 worse players than me - but there we are.

And with that great positive mental attitude what better idea than to go hell for leather with my remaining money into a cash game. No point putting it into a couple of tournies I'll only end up coming 2nd at best which is never going get me back on track. Oh boy was this blog ever well titled - "4kingpoker losses"

• $ 8.00 NL 0.25 cash game ... $ 0 ... - $8.00

• $ 7.55 NL 0.25 cash game ... $ 0 ... - $7.55

Well there you go - short and not particularly sweet but the only definative result in poker - broke

Now you might think to yourself, well in a couple of days I can cash up again - well no - I started this a few days before the start of the month, planning I guess to get a bit of a head start on my cash. I reality I've managed to blow the budget before its original start date.

Now I could cash up again on the 1st - in the interests of any reader(s) of course - but that would be breaking the only rule.

So its freerolls from here to the end of August - Maybe just maybe I can finish in the money then I'll can run headlong into the nearest cash game and blow the $12 win in about 10 minutes - Which would be nice.

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Day 6 ... $ 20.15

• $5+0.5 NL sit&go short turbo ... 4th ... loss $ 5.50 ... - $5.50

• $ 8.00 NL 0.25 cash game ... $ 10 ... + $2.00

• Freeroll $500 added ... 863rd out of 2400 ... Freeroll

Was going down steadily - having a never ending attack of no balls which is firmly festering in my head. Down to $ 340 after 27mins I get moved table onto the small blind down to $ 315 get carried away on Kh 10s on the button - costs me.

Then I get 88 and despite the scary flop Kh 2d 5h Im make a move all-in when 7d comes on the turn, the other guy folds and I'm back up to $ 1460. All goes wrong forget where but after 39mins I'm back down scrabbling for chips $ 265 1057th / 1068 with the blinds about to eat me up.

BB lands me with 73 off and then the small blind 7h Qh I've got $ 40 left so I go for it - We end up in a 3 way all-in with them showing

7A & Jd Qd ... flop comes 10h 10c Ac 8s 9h ... And I finish 863rd - yet again a million miles from the money

• $5+0.5 NL sit&go full table ... 4th ... loss $ 5.50 ... - $5.50


I don't need to be told how lame I am at poker -
I'm shit and I know I am

day 6 ... $ 20.15 -$ 9.00 ... $ 11.15 (- $32.85)

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They didnt turn up - miserable buggers these aliens - was hoping they'd abduct me, Daniel Negreanu, Brunson, Ivey & Guss Hanson and carry out some weird experiments so I'd come back to earth a poker playing wizzkid - not sure any of the other players or the aliens would have done well out of the deal though.

Day 5 ... $ 18.75 + $ 10 free bonus ... $ 28.75

• $ 8.00 NL 0.25 cash game ... $ 16.35 ... + $8.35
• $ 8.00 NL 0.25 cash game ... $ 0 ... - $8.00

• $5+0.5 NL sit&go shorthanded ... 2nd ... win $ 12.50 ... + $2.00
• $5+0.5 NL sit&go shorthanded ... 3rd ... loss $ 5.50 ... - $5.50

• $ 8.00 NL 0.25 cash game ... $ 16.05 ... + $8.05
• $ 8.00 NL 0.25 cash game ... $ 0 ... - $8.00

• Freeroll $500 added ... 750th out of 2400 ... Freeroll

No excitement - 25 uneventful mins passed then somehow managed to win $ 240 with pocket 3's against 9h 2d As flop ace must have put him off - thankfully some times my bluffs get through - $ 925 1156th / 1598

Dealt 99 flop came down 9-- got greedy and didnt play it fast enough lost to a straight - fine line between trying to keep 'em in and knowing when to get them out - definately crossed the line - $ 375 after 30 mins 1270th / 1308

10 mins later I hit KA off on the big blind end up committed he shows K 10 and manage to get back up to $ 1000
573rd /1018

Sitting on my hands to try and get to the break, then I hit AA on 54mins I'm all-in looking to double up. He shows A3 suited - so Im feeling reasonably confident - amazed he called with it

Flop comes Q58 QK

He makes a long shot flush - so yet again I'm out - 750th - This time I feel suitably pissed off to get out drawn again - I know I'm a terrible player but at least getting AA crushed by such a crazy call could have happened to anyone.

• $5+0.5 NL sit&go shorthanded ... 5th ... loss $ 5.50 ... - $5.50

Up down up down down - I'm an utterly miserable player even with free money


day five $ 28.75 -$ 8.60 total $ 20.15 (- $23.85)

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Day 4 ... $ 48.50

The results speak for themselves - three steps back maybe one forward

I'm really unlucky - bolox Eddie Edwards could play better - without his glasses - The cards arn't coming so I end up losing my patience and playing any old crap and its cost me - but thats my own fault no-one elses.

• $5+0.5 NL sit&go shorthanded ... 3rd ... loss $ 5.50 ... - $ 5.50
• $5+0.5 NL sit&go short turbo ... 4rd ... loss $ 5.50 ... - $ 5.50

Lets try cash games - Doh - another dumb assed idea

• $ 5.50 NL 0.25 CASH game ... $ 0 ... - $5.50
Lasted five minutes - 7/10 at table, 68% at flop, $ 3.35 ave pot

• $5+0.5 NL sit&go shorthanded ... 3rd ... loss $ 5.50 ... - $ 5.50

It's getting worse - Im gona be betting even if I only get dealt one card soon - still I know you shouldnt be in a cashing in the stupid amounts I am ... by the time you hit some cards there's nothing left to bet with - so why am I doing it ??????

• $ 5.50 NL 0.25 cash game ... $ 11.65 ... + $6.15
Stayed in for 10 mins, doubled up and got the hell out. Call me a pussy but I've been makin a hash of it all morning and I got out before I blew it again.

• $ 5.50 NL 0.25 cash game ... $ 11.65 ... + $6.15
Went to another table, stayed in a bit longer made the same result. I know you shouldnt but I look at that as two of the tounies fees recovered.

• $ 5.50 NL 0.25 cash game ... $ 0 ... - $5.50

15 mins and back to the dark side - Darth Vader would be proud - my bank manager would think I'm a brainless tosser who should take up stamp collecting -

Who am I kidding - I'll call your penny black and I'll raise you a Cuban commerative butterfly stamp.

• $5+0.5 NL sit&go shorthanded ... 1st ... win $ 17.50 ... + $ 12.00

Well thats enough faffing around - taking a break till the freeroll, at least I can only come out of that one square or up.

• Freeroll $500 added ... 412th out of 2400 ... Freeroll

Ace 5 took me up to $ 2185 and 234th place after 18mins when the flop came down 5 5 -

Then the rot set in as I started to go backwards faster than a backwards thing in a backwards racing contest

35 mins $ 1725 496th / 1176 ... 45 mins $ 575 553rd / 882

At the 1hr break I was left with $ 125 I was two seats away from the blinds which were set to go up to $150/$300 folded Ad 8d and so ended up committed all-in on the big blind with Qs 10h ... came through winning $625 with qq44 ... phew
Then got moved tables and stuck on the blinds again ... all-in with Ac8c flop came down js 10d 2s got called by AQ and AK
Out 412th after 1hr 13 mins - shit happens

• $5+0.5 NL sit&go shorthanded ... 5th ... loss $ 5.50 ... - $5.50

Back to form - I www.4king8poker.com (yep that was another domain bought in haste)

• $ 5.50 NL 0.25 cash game ... $ 0 ... - $4.55

Got out with 95 cents hardly worth but I've lost the will to play. Really not looking forward to playing tomorrow so prob wont play ... yeah right who the hell am I kidding.

Lets hope I get abducted by genius poker playing aliens in the night ... maybe they can fix my terrible game.


day four $ 48.50 -$ 13.25 total $ 35.25 (- $8.75) the rot has set in


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No play today - at least I can't loose anything if it dont log-on

Day 3 ... $ 48.50

Finally I've started to get going on my website ... Not before time - in my moment of madness I bought just about every variation on the 4king poker theme. Just hope it proved to be worth it ... I guess too much coffee is to blame for a lot of " It seemed a great idea at the time" business plans. Lets face it I've had the domain names for nearly a year and so I'm probably at least 18 months behind the game.


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Got $ 10 free bonus retribution money which was nice, prob gonna blow that with a bit of time in a low stakes cash game later on today. It's the weekend so I dont tend to play much - much more fun playing when you should be working.

Day 2 ... $ 56 + $ 10 free bonus money ... $66

• $ 8 NL 0.25 cash game ... $ 0 ... - $8

Bugger - rule no2. Never play when you've got too many distractions around.

Still rotten at online cash games - trying to bet someone off a hand is like holding a pissing contest in a force ten gale - no matter how hard you try it still comes back at you - when will I learn ???

• $1 lucky dollar $ 2500 added ... 435th out of 2000 ... -$1

Playing steady lasted an uneventful 1st hour drifting steadily downwards - got impatient ended up going all-in with 55 against Ac2c flop came down

10s 4s 7h 3s 6c making me a straight 7 high - not what I expected but I'll take it

$3200 up to 367th / 708

Bit of a dilema later playing 72 suited (I know but I was in late position) - anyway flop comes down 2 2 K

Now usually I'd want to go hell for leather at this one way or another - but this guy "poker-fly" had been playing really well and this just didnt want to be my hand - bit of a bet / raise / re-raise made me put him on the K

What comes down on 4th yep another damn King

He was a nice guy - we both knew he had it ... he pondered and went all-in ... bout the only thing that might have reeled me in - yep I can talk myself into calling this kind of hand - I'm a doubter - but he had it and so I had to chuck it away. :-(

Coming up to 1 1/2 hrs and I get 6s 6d - flop 10d 7h 5d

Wanted to stay with it but got pushed off the pot and I'm sposed to be kicking old bad habits - lol the winner had QQ but the river came up 6

Even thinking about playing that will lead me back to the dark side. Blinds are up to $200 /400 and I've got $3300 puts me 321rd / 463

About five minutes later I hit A A ... re-raise pre flop ... Jh 3d 10h

There's $ 2000 in the pot and I figure I'm aready beat with trip J's but I need to make some progress so all-in to get anyone off the flush draw.

Guy turns over Ah 3h (not sure how you call a re-raise pre flop with that but still what the hell do I know) ... turn comes up 7h ... I'm out 435th - still its the best 90 mins I've spent for a while.

• $5+0.5 NL sit&go shorthanded ... 2nd ... win $ 7.50 ... + $ 2

I'm down to $830 with 9s As ... flop comes Js 8s 2c Jd Ks

I end up managing to stay in to the river and get very lucky, bet $ 410 iosan folds - bit foolhardy really as I think he hit the J on 4th but I was kind of committed anyway - lucky break that Ks

I call an all-in by "drumtown" on a flop of 559 with JJ against his 44

Eventually I end up finishing an uneventful 2nd - which might sum up the next 3 games

• $5+0.5 NL sit&go shorthanded ... 2nd ... win $ 7.50 ... + $ 2
• $5+0.5 NL sit&go shorthanded ... 2nd ... win $ 7.50 ... + $ 2
• $5+0.5 NL sit&go shorthanded ... 2nd ... win $ 7.50 ... + $ 2

I'm getting a bit sick of finish 2nd four times on the bounce - I'm playing ok most of the time but I need to push a bit more to get a win this is driving me bonkers

• $5+0.5 NL sit&go shorthanded ... 3rd ... loss $ 5.50 ... - $ 5.50

4king dismal - now I wish I was just notching up seconds lol

Now at this stage anyone sensible would have seen a pattern and quit. But no not I - I have to go throwing good loose change after bad

I need to move up a game get back into some money worth winning, I reason to myself (tosser)

• $10+1 NL sit&go shorthanded ... 4th ... loss $ 11 ... - $ 11

Muppet muppet muppet - I've learnt nothin, ignored common sense and regressed back to the fool chasing losses, playing tired and I'm gona be through my cash before I know it.

Repeat after me, I am a dumbass


Day two $ 66 (inc bonus) -$ 17.50 total $ 48.50 (+ $4.50) really crap

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They say poker takes a moment to learn and a lifetime to master.

Well they ain't wrong, I've spent the last couple of years learning those lessons the hard way and I still mess up. I'm down a fair bit - nothing major when you average it out but down none the less - On the up side I've heard of people losing in a night what took me a year and a half. I look at it a paying for poker lessons - but boy I've paid for every one.

I've been chasing losses but I ain't gonna keep chucking good money after bad - This time I'm going to start small and build my bankroll up steadily and maybe get square eventually.

The only rule - Not to cash-up anymore than $ 44 per month, whatever happens thats my limit.
That should be every poker players Golden rule No.1 - dont bet more than you can afford to lose.

Hope this blog doesn't get a bit boring towards the end of the month but if I get skint and blow it - there's the freerolls and I can always tell you how www.4kingpoker.com is coming on.

Day 1 (4kingpoker.com launch -65 days) ... starting money ... $ 44

I've cashed up $44 a few days early at pokerroom.com my favourite poker site - (sign up at www.4kingpoker.com for bonus)
Got to stick to playing low stakes tournies for starters. There a bit wild and I much prefer the middle limits as the play is a bit more sensible but hey beggars cant be choosers, the WSOP will have to wait.

• $5+0.5 NL sit&go shorthanded ... 1st ... win $ 17.50 ... + $ 12

Nice easy game - played tight aggressive and got them folding left and right on fair odds semi bluffs - no stone cold bluffing thats for mugs - I manage to f**k up enough with a half decent hand let alone going in with nothin'

Off to do a quick job, get back time for a quick cuppa and then back online

signed up for the freeroll starting in 1 1/2hrs and decide to try the $1 lucky dollar as well - not done it before but seems like a good opportunity to improve my tournament play cheaply - but more of that later.

• $5+0.5 NL sit&go shorthanded ... 1st ... win $ 17.50 ... + $ 12

no major dramas until I got out drawn by a guy who had be stealing ever other hand, seen him chasing draws on low flush cards - picked the wrong hand to clash on and my top two pair got out drawn - s*** happens. Who was I kiddin anyway, by this stage there were still five in and I'm down to not much more than a few blinds... I'm still a muppet. Battled back - planned to be tighter than a nuns chuff, stay out of the action and hold on until 3 left and play for 2nd place ... ok so it only $2 profit but thats better than a 5 1/2 dollar loss. Anyway long story short end up getting most of the chips and made short work of the last two players. Great thing is the other guy figured I'd had all the luck - but I knew for a change I'd out played
'em ... better make the most of it 'cos it prob won't last - yeah I know its for chump change but it feels like my play and discipline have improved.

• $1 lucky dollar ... 657th out of 665 ... -$1

What a balls up lol, despite the terrible result I might take a regular look at this tournie. It's a dollar to enter with $ 500 dollars added so with 600+ players it pays out 70 places, pocket money of course other than final table, 1st is a handy $ 200

So what went wrong ... One hand and that was it, I was left with barely a chip and a chair. Sorry for the lack of a full hand history on this one but I never figured I have to write it up in detail, you'll see why in a min.
I'd been playing conservatively, with 600+ players to get through there was no point getting cavalier too early ...
yeah like who am I kidding I usually get sucked in like Yoda at a backwards talking competition ... hmm Play 72 off and win I will ...

then I got dealt something half decent

Ac 10c ... so put in a medium raise pre flop and got called - one behind and one infront.
flop came down ... spade 9s Ks
made the nut flush on the flop - sorted - now how to play it ?

Hotdog something or other (the guy before me) has been stealin & playin all sorts of crap but I figured that a check would seem more suspicious than a bet or a raise and they had all been calling / stealing so I figured I'd stir it up right there and then. Ive got beat on the river too many times slow playing a hand like this or got no cash out of it because everyone gets an attack of the "what if's"

so I bet the pot - make it look like im playin for a steal. The next guy sees it for what he thinks it is and calls and the next guy thinks the same and raises. By now theres enough in the pot for me to be happy to take the hand there and then - one of them might have half a hand like 2 pair or even trips and I aint in the mood for greedy and getting out drawn

so I all-in over the top on the flop ... call ... call ... they're both all-in (I had about 55 chips more than them)
and so in the same split second I'm happy (read cocky) - thinking to myself

" yeah nice play gettin' them to fill up the pot when you've got the nuts - Hellmuth eat your heart out, see you at the WSOP, whip your ass etc "

and sad

turn and the river came - and I had lost - to hotdog's Full House made on the river.

" 4king w%£&*er how the f*$£ did he go all-in on the flop with three spades on the board "

all I can remember is hotdog had called with a King rag neither of them spades - he really must have thought I was trying to buy the hand. Unbeliveable he had caught runner runner 9 K to make his full house. The other guy made two pair K's and 9's (what was on the board)

At times poker is a cruel cruel game - I was gutted

hotdog didnt even have the grace to say he got lucky, or more likely any idea just how unbelievably lucky he had been to make that hand. NB. anyone who can work out the odds, I'd love to know

The table was stunned and I was as good as out with 55ish chips left to play with. I hung around biting my lip but I just had to point out just how lucky the runt was ... I went out 657th.

• Freeroll $500 added ... 1101st out of 2400 ... Freeroll

made an ok start, trying to play tight and not too aggressive. But after a bit threw caution to the wind and went $780 all-in
with Qs Qc on the flop of 6s Kd 4s - a bit foolhardy with a king showing but I had a feeling and I had seen this guy bluffing and pushing people around - gut feelin proved right as he showed 5c 6c that pulled me up to $ 2380 and 102nd place after the first 10 mins.

downfall came 5 mins later on BB with 7s Qc I limped in - flop comes down 6c 7c Qh
figured I had the best of it (top 2 pair) - what a muppet. I didnt want to let anyone out draw me and make a flush (oh for a pair of xray specs) Ended up chasing a $ 2000 pot and re-raised him all-in anyone with a brain would have stop for a minute and figured him for what he had.

he turns over QQ ... nice play - sucked me in like the sucker I am. Now I'm down on my knackers

I keep foldin for the next 10 min until I see K K before I get to act two more have gone all-in before me - well if one of em's they got A A then fairplay but these is the best cards I'm gona see before Ive got nothin -

so I all-in my $ 120 and see what happens

1st guy shows 2d 3h ... clearly on the steal

2nd guy shows A 8

Figure I'm in good shape here and set for a triple through so long as we dont see an ace ...

board reads ... Qc 4d As 5d 10d

oh well the guy hit his ace - s*** no the idiot with 23 has taken it

the stealin dog makes a straight - You cant play for a lucky idiot and I finish 1101st - and I bet im not half as sick as the guy with A8.

cuppa and a ponder decide you cant help bad beats and jump into a

• $5+0.5 NL sit&go shorthanded ... 3rd ... loss $ 5.50 ... - $ 5.50

surprisingly very tight and aggressive game for a $5 table, money moving around but not much progress being made. By the time we're down to 3 my stack isnt in the best of shape but figure to sit tight as I'm not far behind the 2nd place bloke and he is up for action - let him hang himself. Not a great plan - got blinded away waiting for cards and he made progress
on the big stack. So I had to make a move and it didnt come off. Still there's always the next game

• $5+0.5 NL sit&go shorthanded ... 3rd ... loss $ 5.50 ... - $ 5.50

should have gone to bed - always listen when the little voice says " dont bother playing "

• day one $ 44 + $ 12.00 total $ 56.00 crap - but better up than down •


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